Finding Shelter From the Storm

Tonight Dave and I had the pleasure of having dinner with some non-LDS friends of ours. We got to talking about some of the problems in the world today; the disintegration of the family, drugs, Godlessness, abortion, etc. It was so interesting that here was this great family (with 12 kids I might add) who are battling the exact same things we as Latter Day Saints are.

Just the other day my younger brothers lost a good friend to a Heroin overdose. This boy was trying to get high enough to "feel normal enough" to make the drive to California without having to stop to get high again along the way. WHAT?! Get high to feel normal enough to DRIVE?! I was shocked! My brothers laughed at how sheltered I am but really I didn't know! I always pictured people doing drugs at parties or in their bathrooms at home or something. I thought it was a rare few who actually drove that way. It totally freaks me out that I'm driving around with my babies in the car with those jerks out there. Oh, I'm totally ticked off about it!!!

And don't even get me started on the abortion thing. Let me just say that this week the reality of the world's state has burst the 'bubble' I've created for myself. But I can find comfort in the Savior and His Gospel. I know things are going to get worse before they get better, but like President Monson quoted in conference, "Men are that they might have joy."

Conference is always like a compass to me. It stops me in my routine and points back to the path I need to be on. Among the messages I received this time were to be happy and enjoy my life. To not be afraid. It struck me hard. Now that I'm experiencing a dose of reality, I am finding so much peace in the messages we heard last weekend.



My favorite quote this week came from a clip about the temple on YouTube.

"I don't know how to speak about heaven in the traditional, lovely, paradisaical beauty that we speak of heaven; I wouldn't know how to speak of heaven without my wife or my children. It would not be heaven for me." Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

So sweet! That's exactly how I feel. I am so blessed to have a testimony and such a loving husband and great kids that give me a reason to hope. Not every day is heaven at our home, but there are glimpses of it. Sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent a little.

Happy Easter everyone!

My Saving Grace

Each day I am granted the opportunity to relive... well redo my childhood. Every day with my little Grace is filled with daisies and butterflies, giggles, squeals and most recently growls like a monster. Always busy reaching chubby fingers out for new discoveries (she's figured out how to climb on furniture to reach what she wants). Unafraid of the world and naive. Pure in heart and so content to just be herself. So unlike me; and I couldn't be more proud of her. I don't want her to be like me. I'm self conscious, self defeating and shy, which often comes off wrong to others.

I can't believe I have been so blessed to have this sweet little spirit in our home. My whole life I've envied every one of you who have sisters. Jen has taken on that role for me for which I am so grateful. But Gracie. Gracie fills up that vacancy in my heart. She's the girlie family member I've always longed for.

I love to hold her and rock her (when she lets me... usually too busy). I love that she rubs my arms like she's giving me a massage. I love that she likes frilly things like fluffy dresses, pretty bracelets, fancy shoes and her new earrings (yup, earrings). She gasped in delight at the Easter dress I brought home the other day and immediately wanted to try it on. She twirled and danced in it, squealing and clapping her hands the whole time. I love that Little Miss Grace so much and I feel so blessed and honored to call her my daughter. Each person in my family makes me want to "try a little harder to be a little better" (Pres. Hinckley) so we can be together forever someday.

P.S. I have just as strong feelings for Jake, but I'll save that for a later post.

Kid Tag

Kid Tag:
Ask your child(ren) to answer the questions and type their answers in.

Jake's answers

1. What is something mom always says to you?
I love you.

2. What makes mom happy?
Love.

3. What makes mom sad?
Hitting mommy

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Make silly things.

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Crawl.

6. How old is your mom?
10 years orange

7. How tall is your mom?
BIG!!!

8. What is her favorite thing to watch on TV?
The Office (dang funny that he knows)

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Be alone.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Me. (Pointed to himself)

11. What is your mom really good at?
Making ramen noodles, chicken soup, mac & cheese and that's all.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Riding bicycles.

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Cook

14. What is your mom's favorite food
Ramen noodles and Mac & Cheese (blah)

15. What do you like about your mom?
Hold me and hug me.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
BLUE!?

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Make crafts

18. How are you and your mom the same?
We have bodies. We have the same skin.

19. How are you and your mom different?
You are dark white and I'm white white (I think he means freckles)

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Hugs and kisses.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Play with me.

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
School.

Pay it Forward Blogger Style

Pay it Forward Blogger Style

Got this from Mindi's blog. Play with me!

1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me (yeah for handmade!).

2. Winners must post this challenge on their own blog, meaning that you will pay it forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your 3 friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember it’s the spirit and the thought that count!

4. When you receive your gift, blog about it! If you are not one of the first three to comment on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same! It's all about paying it forward.

R.I.P. Sam (a.k.a. Turd Bucket)

Jake's fish died last night. Mostly because we flushed him down the toilet. He wouldn't eat anything and was getting really skinny and swimming sideways. We all felt kind of bad but I couldn't watch him suffer anymore. After the 'flush' Jake proclaimed, "Now he lives with Jesus!"

Also, Jake and I were listening to "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt in the car. Jake was singing along and I could tell he was really listening to the words.

I said, "You like this song don't you."

He said, "Yes! It's about you mommy!"

Awwww! It made me feel so good. Especially since I hadn't gotten a shower in and had no make-up or hair done.

Prayers For Liam

I got back from two weeks in D.C. late last night. This is sweet baby Liam. He is our close friends Jared and Linzie's little boy who was born December 30th. This little miracle has quite a few problems but is a fighter.


He has Coacal Extrophy where his abdomen was basically cut in half and laid open. The front of his pelvis did not form. His intestines and liver were on the outside of his body, there is something wrong with his spine and a bunch of other things. They aren't sure if he'll be able to walk. They knew before he was born he had some of the problems, but not all. The poor thing has had 3 surgeries already.

When I talked to Linzie she said she didn't get to go see him everyday. It broke my heart. I couldn't just sit here and do nothing so I flew us out to D.C. to help take her other kids so she could go to the hospital and see Liam.

I went with Linz to the NICU at the Children's Hospital in D.C. one day. There were tons of babies lining the walls in incubators, each with their own nurses taking care of their every need. Liam was in his own little room within the NICU. I knew it was serious, but it really hit me how severe it was that out of all the babies there he was the one with his own room.

He was intubated, had tons of tubes and wires everywhere, his feet and legs were cracked and scabby from having them in traction. He was totally out of it due to the paralizing medicine and other drugs they had him from the surgery the previous day. His incisions reached from the top of his abdomen all the way down between his legs until you couldn't see them anymore. I've never seen anything like it. They were big incisions as well. Big bands were holding them together.



But, inspite of everything I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and respect for this little boy. His perfect, beautiful face was full of life and hope. I just know that he is special and has a big job to do here on earth. He's already teaching me.

Gracie has been sick and throwing up every night for the past week. I didn't get much sleep, but every time I got up with her and cleaned up mess after mess I was filled with gratitude that all I had to do as a mother to comfort my baby was hold her and love her.

Looking at Liam I couldn't help but cry. I cried for Jared and Linzie and the trial they are facing. I cried for Avery and Lincoln (their other kids) and the confusion and worry they must be feeling. I cried that Linzie feels guilty when she is with Liam because she's not with the other kids, and feels guilty when she is with them because she is not with Liam. I cried for Liam that he had been in so much pain the day before they had to totally drug him up... amoung other things.

Then I felt the Comforter flood my heart with gratitude. Not gratitude for what was happening in this sweet family, but for the Savior and all that he has suffered and endured for us. I was grateful for his sacrifice and for my knowledge of it. I was grateful that my testimony helps me make sense of the trials we face here in mortality. I may not understand everything, but I know it is for a purpose and I feel like Liam is here to teach us and do great things with his life. He has already taught me so much in his short 5 weeks.

I am grateful Linzie shared that with me. I really hope I helped and was not in the way too much. I miss their little family so much already. I hugged Linz and the kids as she dropped me off at the airport and it was so hard to let go. I wish there was more I could do.

But there is something I can do... I can ask you, my close friends to pray for Liam and his family with me. He has an infection and his incisions are starting to come apart. Linzie did finally get to hold him on Wednesday for the first time and they also removed his breathing tube, but he still has a long road ahead. They are like family to us and we pray for their continued faith and Liam's speedy recovery.

Jingle Bells and Cat Scans

Charlie (Left), Thomas, Tami, Genna, Kate,
Me, Gracie, Jake and Dave.
We bonded.

This year Christmas was a blast! We had Dave's sister Tami [Nickerson] and her family stay with us the days leading up to Christmas. It was so fun!!! I'm a little nerdy and believe in matching PJ's during Christmas, so I made our guests play along. They were good sports about it. I was way sad when they left. I wish we could have house guests all the time (anyone is welcome). It definitely made Christmas more fun.

Thomas and Jake Bonded.

Genna and Gracie Bonded.

We spent Christmas Eve with the Dickson's. We ate great food and had the little one's delight us with a reenactment of the Nativity. All was well until one of the Wise Men found a sword and started to duel with one of the Shepherds. Then Uncle Bruce decided to wrestle Dave, which turned into a dance off (don't ask me how... that's a Dickson party for ya). Carefully watching their uncles inspired the young ones to have a dance off of their own, which then turned into a wrestling match. Weirdos.

I think Dave won. That's my man!

The Traffic Cop.

The Running Man (are people still doing that LOL!).

Not sure who won this match.

Dance Off/Wrestling Match

My family came over Christmas morning to watch the kids have their Santa experience. I am one of 'those' moms who thinks that Jesus received 3 presents, so my children should only get 3 as well. I forgot that grandparents, aunts and uncles give presents too. It quickly turned into a mad house. I lost count of how many toys they got, but most of them weren't from us or Santa. They were also mostly loud and annoying. My brothers were very proud of themselves for that.

Messy, messy, messy!

Jake wants to be a Chef/Doctor
when he grows up.

We spent the rest of the week with a sick Gracie (ear infection) and a little depression that Christmas was over and the Nickerson's had left :(.

Gracie was still sick so we decided to spend New Years Eve at home. We had Olive Garden, sparkling cider in fancy glasses, played board games and were in bed by 10 p.m. For New Years Day we went to Nene's house for breakfast and Rohmer Park for sledding. Jake crashed pretty hard on his first run. He had a scratched up face, a double bloody nose and a cut up lip.

We all thought he was fine, but I had one of those "Mommy Feelings" on the way home so I took him to the doctor. They sent him on to the E.R. where they did a CT Scan and decided he'd had a concussion. Poor kid! He was tough though and held real still during the scan. He thought it was like a ride at Lagoon.

Scratched raw and red from forehead to chin :(

Being brave for the CT Scan.

What a fun way to ring in the New Year! I'm sure the E.R. bill will be giant, but I'm glad he's okay. We'll have to wake him up every 2 hours tonight and keep a close eye on him the next couple of days, but he'll be fine. Something to be grateful for!!! Happy New Year everybody and good luck with those Resolutions!